Math - A culmination of thoughts and experiences

Over the past weeks this quarter, I've blogged about exercises and ideas that could be used in the classroom and I've also blogged about how I might (and did) try to use these ideas in my actual main placement.  What I have learned over time is that I am still learning!

In some respect, it looks like I've thought of our weekly class sessions as workshops with really great ideas that could be implemented in our classrooms.  Sometimes I didn't think ideas were ELL sensitive, but overall, I wanted to take these ideas to my main placement.  I always complained that my main placement teacher hardly ever conducts group work projects.  I loved how we learned about students working together in groups and  through inquiry, they taught themselves through exploration.  What a great way to teach a lesson!  Many of my students hate math, and I thought that these types of group work lessons would be a way to grab their attention and interest.

Little did I know, my main placement teacher was not on board with my ideas.  Though I was hurt by the lack of room to experiment with different ways of teaching, I understood that this is ultimately her classroom and she is responsible for their learning.  What I have learned is that whatever we students take from our sessions should be taken into consideration before implementing.  We are not expected to change the world as student teachers. For me, it feels as if I'm just learning how to be adequate!  Having the math guidebooks might be more of a blessing than what I used to think of it:  something that hindered me from teaching with creativity and sensitivity to special needs students.  The ideas and exercises that we learned about in class are things we keep in our arsenal and one day, when we are comfortable and accomplished as working teachers, then there will be a place for these ideas.

iTouch now: the final decision

Yay for technology...

Eh...for our iTouch.

I really wished I could have found more or better uses for it in the classroom!  I did use it (when I was able to - no wi-fi for guests) for my literacy lesson, though.  I used dictionary.com and didn't need to have wi-fi.  However, I really wanted to use my iPad because it's bigger and easier to see.  I found that, having only one iTouch, it was more distracting for the students.  They thought it was cool that I had brought one in, and that I was using it for school (since they're so used to iPads, iPods, and iTouches as only forms of entertainment).  I don't know how many times a student asked me if I played Angry Birds on my iTouch!  I understand that it may not be likely that a school would issue iTouches for each student, but I wonder (still) if the students and teacher would find the technology to be old and useless...eventually.

We all wished that our iTouches were newer and had a camera/video feature.  Or 3G.  I found myself not really using it because of this reason.  With the students, the only app I used was dictionary.com.  I would have liked to allow students to use the educational math games I downloaded, but I felt it would have been too distracting to the other kids who wouldn't be able to use it at the same time.  Plus, I think my master teacher would have frowned upon my giving a "video game" to a student.

Though I was not able to use the iTouch as much as I would have liked, I think I could have easily used it to record students reading and play it back to them.  I think they would find it interesting to hear themselves read.  It might make them aware of how the sound when reading:  expressions, pauses, pronunciation, pace.  I see a lot of benefits for the iTouch; however, for the moment, I don't see it with this particular iTouch.  I think there are much more possibilities with a camera/video feature and 3G.  I am very glad that we were able to experiment with it.  It made other teachers wonder what we student teachers were learning in our tech classes.  It definitely needs more experimentation in the classroom, but I really do believe there is more benefits to having technology at the palm of your hands.

I guess, my biggest question as of now is:  how can the iTouch help the teacher during teaching, during lessons?  I see how it can supplement learning.  The students can use it for projects, as a dictionary, as a recorder.  But how might a teacher use one iTouch for a lesson?  Would it be used that often as part of a lesson?  Or would it pick up dust, just like the other dictionaries in the class?

iTouches for Differentiated Teaching

There obviously many uses for iTouches for differentiated teaching in the classroom.  Just take a at Google Earth and you'll be mesmerized for hours.  You'll never want to look at a globe or a regular old map again!  There are so many ways you are able to look at space, earth, water, and topography.  I would love to have iTouches in my classroom.  Especially the new ones that feature camera and video.  So many tools wrapped into one little iTouch!

But then I remember all classrooms (just about) that I pass by - dusty, sad, boxy, bulky macs.  No one ever turns them on or pays any attention to them.  They're hooked up.  They work just fine.  Why doesn't anyone ever touch them?  Truth be told, did I ever use my class iTouch more than once (which was mainly used for voice recording)?

The truth is, technology is changing every day.  I bought my iPad only a 8 months ago.  Now there is a 2nd generation iPad already!  I can't keep up!  And now it features camera on both sides!  Oh, so many things it can do!  Students are very aware of this, too.  They know how old those class computers are.  They're so old, they may not even know how to work it once logged on - or even worse, they get bored because this old computer doesn't hold a candle to their spiffy macbook at home.  Plus, can we get enough iTouches in the classroom so that every student may use it at the same time?

I do think that there should be uses for technology in the classroom.  We can skype with other classrooms across the nation, take a field trip to the national library, or make a glogster to present our science experiments.  Old or new, technology has a place in the classroom.  We just have to use them!  My district doesn't allow guest wi-fi, so I was unable to use my iTouch in the classroom, but there's no reason why other teachers shouldn't take advantage of technology and all its possibilities.  Students won't even care that the iTouches are older generations or that the computer isn't sleek and skinny.  If it works just fine, and they are used regularly, it will have a very positive impact in the classroom for student learning.

Math Identities

It was interesting to read from the article "Complex Identities" that some students think they need to be creative to be good at math and some students think they need to be obedient to be good at math.  It was also very interesting that when asked to place a classmate on a number line (from good at math to not good at math) it was comparatively different to where that actual student placed himself/herself.

I thought about my classroom, given this information.  Then I thought about the time my master teacher told me that I shouldn't spend so much time guiding a particular student.  "He gets it, he's just not a focused student most of the time.  You don't need to pay so much attention to him."  As soon as she said that to me, I had a hard time dealing with that.  How could I just let him go without aid?  I could see on his paper that he was not giving the right answer to the math problem.  I know she doesn't want me to lose time (she feels pressured in math to stick to a timeline) and to make sure that if I have the majority getting "it" then I have to keep moving on.  But after reading this article, I still maintain that I can't, in good conscience, leave a student behind like that.  What if, to her, he "gets it." But in reality, he is playing a really good act and fooling her?  It's something to think about...                             

GeoSketch

The geometry game we played in class was a worthwhile tool.  I was very fascinated with it!  So fascinated that I sometimes found myself placing more importance in finishing my puzzle rather than listening to the lecture!  Whoops!  I suppose that is good enough evidence that GeoSketch is a powerful tool.  If adults are so entranced with this tool/puzzle, I can imagine that students would be interested in these puzzles.

I really like the puzzles because you really do have to know shapes and the definition of those shapes.  For example, I did not remember what makes a rhombus a rhombus.  In consequence, the puzzle would not be right and I had to remove all of my shapes.  I had to start all over again because the rule of the rhombus would not allow me to get the right angle I needed to fill up the overall shape.  Hopefully though, as a teacher you are not giving a lesson while you allow the students to experiment with the GeoSketch.  Otherwise, the students may not pay attention to you while the work on their puzzles!

Math Playground

I was just wandering around the internet and came across this site, mathplayground.com.  I found it to be really helpful - a really good resource for math teachers.  If you have computers in your room (and you are one of those teachers that actually turns them on and let's students use the computers), this would be a nice tool to use for those students who finish early or if you have free time (in my class, the teacher implements a "Friday Free Time" reward in which the students get about a half hour or so to play leggos, draw, play make-believe with stuffed animals.  Being able to play math games would, in my mind, be more productive).  It has games for kids, manipulatives, math work sheets for teachers, and math videos.  I tried the manipulatives (thinking blocks) and it was really interesting.  There are side notes to help tutor the student (if help is necessary).  And it's okay to get the answer wrong!  In fact, it's a safe place to mess up because the "tutor" helps you to see your error.  It doesn't hurt your grade or embarrass you in front of other classmates during an actual lesson.

Math Lesson (Observation)

My lesson went really well!  I was a little bit surprised that it did because I was up all night worrying and fretting over how I might screw it all up.  The day before my master teacher suggested that I teach the lesson before my observed lesson, just so the kids get used to me teaching math with them.  That lesson didn't go well, so of course I was worried the observed lesson would flop as well.  I suppose the extra nerves was in my favor because I studied my lesson plan over and over again...until the wee hours.

However, when I gave my master teacher my proposed plan, she basically told me to change the lesson.  I had chosen not to go with the teacher's guidebook lesson and try a differentiated lesson (which is supplemented in that book) that involved a collaborative group project.  On one hand, I do understand the pressure she is undergoing with math.  I think she is a lesson or two behind schedule.  On the other hand, I was hoping an internship would allow me to try out different ways of teaching so that I may be able to find out what kind of a teacher I would like to be.  So far, I feel frustrated that I hardly ever get to try out new ways of teaching.  I understand that it is her classroom and that I am a guest in her classroom, but I also thought the understanding was that I would get a chance to "mess up" here and there and experiment, try out different teaching methods.

We are learning about all the great ways to get students to learn in a collaborative group setting in our courses, but I feel very frustrated that I never get to try these methods out in the field.  The students hardly ever get to do group projects or work together as teammates.  Maybe this'll have to be something I try out after I get my tenure.

Assessment to Instruction

 After getting to know two different buddies, I know have a third buddy to get to know all over again!  Though I have enjoyed these students, it is very difficult for me to gauge each new buddy's ability, strengths, and interests.  My new buddy, T, is an interesting kid.  Based on our first meeting, he is very soft-spoken and appears to read and write fairly well.  He has wonderful accuracy when reading, but does not retain a lot of information after the passage has been read.  After reading both stories (Amelia Earhart and Early Railroads), he read with amazing accuracy, but his level of comprehension put him in the frustration category.  A few things that caught my attention were his answers, word for word in the passages, when the questions related to technical or mechanical aspects of the story.  Since I am getting to know T, this gives me a jumping off point as to the sorts of stories he may be interested in reading or writing about in the future.


As a result of our findings, it would be logical to consider implementing a comprehension lesson as a shared reading lesson.  Because my first impression of him was shy and a little timid, I feel that shared reading would create a safe learning environment for him and the other students to to practice reading.  The teacher will model the behavior that a good reader would do while reading.  Tovani has many examples as to how she listens to her inside voice.  She also models how she asks questions, makes inferences, predictions, and opinions.  I also like how she promotes writing in the book (if allowed) to mark down these inside thoughts.  She also admits to daydreaming or easily becoming distracted for pages or two before realizing she hasn't been paying attention.  I think telling young readers that it is natural that things like that happen is important so that they don't feel like poor readers.  The lesson for T could be very simple as having the teacher model his/her thoughts while reading a short passage (maybe a paragraph).  While the students are following along, either on the doc-cam or reading from a class textbook, they can practice comprehension.  When the teacher vocalizes his/her thoughts, the students can easily observe how a good reader has a conversation with himself about what has just been read.  The teacher can place a sticky note on the page and write down any questions she had about the paragraph that may not have made sense or that more information is required to fully understand its message.  Then the students can practice this one strategy in their own independent reading time with sticky notes.  This would be a good start as an activity to build on reading comprehension.

Mira! Mira!

Look!  What a fascinating tool!  After discovering that this math tool has been around for decades, I've wondered if I would have looked at math differently when i was in elementary and junior high school.  I'm pretty sure I would have loved it!  Math was always so boring and mundane.  It wasn't until geometry that I (somewhat) enjoyed math.  Before learning rules and theories, we found evidence with our rulers and protractors.  All other math classes, math was just about memorizing formulas and plugging in numbers.  School is all about experiencing, discovering, and learning.  Tools like the mira make learning fun and interesting.  It's a little sad that there are so many math tools and manipulatives for students, but they are seldom used or seen.

It is difficult, though, when you are a realistic teacher, with a realistic budget, with a realistic time line, and with an instructor's math guide with play-by-play steps.  As a first year teacher, I am almost positive that I will do everything by the book.  I just hope that I don't get used to or comfortable with that routine.

To group or not to group

After observing my classroom in math, I notice that the teacher never groups the kids together.  I believe the reason for not putting the kids into groups is because the kids are chatty and get distracted easily.  The para educator agreed with me in this observation.  This worries me because after all our discussions and practices in our math course, I may not be able to implement it in my practicum.

Having the kids work in groups is something I really want to try, though, even if their teacher doesn't believe it will work out, at least for this group of kids that do not support each other (constantly tattletales on each other) and do not play with each other during recess.  They do not work as a team in anything they do.  I feel as if they start working together, and the teacher has made it clear that they are partners (as in sports, where teammates work together to win), they can teach each other about math strategies.  Instead of me doing all the teaching, and risking some kids tuning out, the kids could enforce what I've taught by teaching themselves and discussing their strategies.

Questioning Strategies

As I am counting the days to my first observed lesson (a math lesson), I am aware that I need to ask the right questions to engage my students, keep them interested, and help them to successfully organize their thoughts.  I never realized how much energy and thought goes into asking the right kind of questions.  The article, Never Say Anything a Kid Can Say! gives a plan to use specific questioning techniques when teaching math.

Of course, one of the techniques that I like is "Never say anything a kid can say."  I see that this goal sounds simple, but my master teacher hardly ever does this in her class.  It is very hard to find patience and time to let the students do all the thinking and questioning.  Especially when you are a few lessons behind or trying to finish up the lesson before transitioning to another subject.

I have tried this technique as I'm walking around the room while observing, though.  I really see how taking ownership in their own thought process, rather than listening to the teacher explain how to fix this and that, is more beneficial and rewarding for both teacher and students.

Analysis and Lesson Plan

My buddy’s story is about a cat that has a unique trait: it talks to her!  Within her story, she speaks to the reader about how this talking cat shocks her, but also about how the cat is feeling in a human world.  The author presents a pretty complex world of emotions and instances of empathy.  She has a knack for words and writing funny scenarios.

6 Traits of Assessment:

IDEAS – She gives a great amount of detail to hold the reader’s attention.  Her ideas are fresh and original.  On her third page, she writes, “I leaned back and I heard, “Ouch!  That Hurt!”  Shocked, I looked up to see if anybody got hurt...”  In this example, she uses onomatopoeia and anticipates and answers the reader’s questions.

ORGANIZATION - She is pacing her story fairly well, but her story details (page 5), though a funny detail, detracts from the main story line and what she’s trying to get across to the reader.  In short, the details take too long to explain.  For most of the page, her main goal is to express the cat’s sadness because he cannot play with the kids.  She goes into detail about how the kids are playing ball and how the cat is physically unable to play such a game.  She feels sorry for the cat because of his opposable thumbs, and decides it would be best to call for her mom to take the cat home from school.  Though it is a funny story, it is very lengthy.

VOICE - .  Her ideas and content is evident (how sad the cat was at recess because he could not play kids’ game, no opposable thumbs).  She also uses engaging language:  (page 7) She uses expressions such as full speed ahead and in a blink of an eye.

WORD CHOICE – She consistently uses lively verbs throughout her story.  On page 6 she uses the word “grabbed” to describe how she was picking up a stick to defend the cat.  On page 1, she used the word “fainted” after the cat started talking to her.  On Page 3 the word “rushed” was used to express a sense of urgency, running down the stairs.

SENTENCE FLUENCY – Her sentence beginnings are not all alike; there is variance.  In one instance, she uses “But” to emphasize something different as a beginning sentence word (page 2:  The cat jumped at me and said,“Feed me now, stupid head!”  But didn’t listen).  She also uses descriptive words of time elapsed, such as for ten minutes after an hour, when I was sleeping in my bed.

However, sentences are awkward because they are very long. “I thote that was to rud to say so I did nothing but do my hair then the cat asked nicely then I rushed down stairs and expluned, you will get your way when you are nice to the person your talking to.”

CONVENTIONS - Spelling errors are frequent, even on common words (sight words, such as said).  Punctuation is often missing (no periods) and paragraphing is missing, as well.  Only one paragraph was made:  the beginning paragraph.

OWNERSHIP:

My buddy is a writer, and she says that she enjoys writing more than reading.  I have only seen one example of her writing, and it is evident that her ideas are full of detail and imagery.  She accepts compliments about her good writing and recognizes that she has a skill for writing.  She likes to read recipes when she is cooking with her grandmother (a response to my question:  what other types of writing do you like to read?).  If she does get to choose what she gets to read, she likes  to read non-fiction just as much as fiction and fantasy books.

SPELLING TEST AND DEVELOPMENT FINDINGS:

As I had only one meeting with Julia, and it was a full one with many activities and introductions to each other, I was only able to get halfway through her spelling test.  Based on my limited findings, she could be found on the middle Within-word Patterns (misspelling words such as flote, brite, and chooed) on the developmental continuum.  More analysis and observation is necessary to make a more informed placement.

I also had her read to me, and she frequently made mistakes.  She saw the first letter of the word and said a random word that started with the same letter.  When I asked her to read the sentence again, or asked if she knew the meaning of that word, she either stopped at the word or asked me what it meant.  Besides the words she does not know (and creates), she infers their meaning because at the end of each page, she is able to tell me what she just read.  She has a good sense of comprehension.

LESSON PLAN:

Objectives: 

Students will understand writing conventions and enhance word definitions by completing a spelling journal.

Standards: 

3.3.4. Applies punctuation rules.

3.3.6. Uses complete sentences in writing.

Materials:

Journal notebook

Pencil

Sticky notes

Vocabulary from current literacy textbook

Instructional Strategies:

Student will listen to 3 vocabulary words per week, supplied by the teacher.  As a class, the student will write in his/her notebook the vocabulary word and its definition.  Together they will discuss the meaning of each word. 

Independently, the student will draw the meaning or an example of the vocabulary word and use the word in a sentence, using his/her own words.

The teacher will monitor independent student work to check for correct definition, representation, and usage (capital and period).

Throughout the week, the student will be aware of these vocabulary words, inside and outside of class.  When these words are used, the student will journal how the word was used or quickly jot down the example of its usage on a sticky note to transfer/stick on the page at a later time.  Because these are vocabulary words taken from the literacy textbook, there will be at least one opportunity to journal about the word’s usage.

Assessment:

When notebooks are handed in at the end of the week, I will assess the student’s written work:  spelling vocabulary terms correctly, punctuation, and sentence structure.

At the end of the week, a spelling test (including definition) will be administered.  I will assess the student’s test for correct spelling, punctuation, and definition.

Keeping an Open Mind

I did have strong feelings about how that math session went -- the anxiety of being called upon, not having enough time to think a problem through, pretending to understand a problem for the sake of time or to save face.  But after observing my main placement's math sessions, I wish they did math differently (like the kind of sessions that I had once disapproved of).  This is what I witness every day:  a direct instruction from the teacher, the students working on their own white boards, the students instructed to work on practice sheets on their own.  I am pretty excited to try out this method that I've felt so uneasy about!  I want to put these kids into small groups so that they can talk to each other and support each other!  For the past few months, the kids have not been good friends to each other.  They hardly ever get a chance to be in groups in anything together during class.  I am interested to see if this beginning of splitting them into groups will help their relationships with each other.  If they can be put into groups for math, they can make sure each member understands the math problem (if they are unexpectedly called upon).  They are also responsible for supporting each team member if/when a member is called upon.  I am very glad I am opening up my mind to this method of teaching.  For this class, I think they would really benefit from working together.

iTouch Uses

In my main placement classroom, I have found a few instances in which the iTouch might really help out the kids.  Something that always has the kids hung up is story ideas.  I constantly hear kids saying things, such as, "I don't know what I wanna write about."  Or, "Nothing interesting has ever happened to me that I'd want to write about."

I understand their frustration because, for me, getting the first few sentences down on paper is the hardest thing to do.  I feel that every word has to be well chosen and used for a specific reason.  It all has to be perfect!  Then I end up staring at my blank page because nothing will do, nothing is perfect enough.  What I have learned to do is just free write and just write something!  I found an app called StoryBuilder, and the kids would use the exercises to start getting words out.  There are cartoons (comic book storyboards) and the first part of the sentence starts, then the students fill in the last missing part of the sentence.  They can record their voice narrative and replay.  Everything is recorded until the story is complete.  I think this app helps kids get over their frustrations of starting a story out perfectly.

Another app that I like is google translate.  With ELL students, I can use this with and communicate with them if there is anything that is unclear in conversations.  It is also an excellent tool to use in conferences with parents of ELL students.  One of my favorite apps!

I also saw an app called Fractions, and yes, it is all about fractions.  As the kids start to get into the idea of fractions, this app has so many images and exercises that explain how fractions are used and why fractions are used.  It can also be used as a game, as you can master simple fractions and answer questions about fractions.  You can take quizzes and test yourself, too.  It's not all about pizza slices and pie slices anymore!

Small Group Math Discussion

From this experience, I saw just how important it is to feel safe and welcomed with one another.  Our group completely forgot to make introductions, and I think it really threw our behaviors off.  For one, I did not feel comfortable probing the students further with their explanations because I did not feel a connection with them.  We hadn't put in the time to get to know each other, and we were kind of like strangers throughout the entire discussion.

One student did something very unusual.  When he gave us his thought process, as to how he counted the dots, he told us that he chose to group the chunks the way that he did (which was extremely random) because he knew no one else would count it out like he did.  I wondered why he would want to do that, be competitive like that?  I wondered what the class community was like in his classroom and if it was something that needed to be improved.  I know that our small group really needed to improve on community building.  I think it is really necessary to have a safe environment when we're talking about our ideas.  We need to know that our thoughts will not be rejected.

For ELL's

I was recently asked by my master teacher to administer a math test to some students who were either pulled out of class by specialists and couldn't finish, or absent the day the test was originally given.  I gave the test to two kids who were pulled out by specialists.  These kids speak Spanish at home, so these are ELL specialists that work with many of our students at least twice a day.

I know these kids need the extra help and work with specialists, but at the same time, I feel that they are missing so much that happens during class.  When it comes down to taking these tests, like the one I had to give to them, I don't see how they could realistically succeed because they missed so much time that was spent teaching the lesson because of getting pulled out of class.

In any case, I was instructed to read only the directions for each question.  As I read these questions, I was thinking in my head, "I'm not sure if they understand this in English?"  I wanted to either restate this question a different way so that the language may be more simplified or try to translate it in Spanish.  I don't know if I was wrong to do it, but I eventually said it in Spanish or restated the question with words that these ELL's might be more familiar with.  I just didn't think it was fair that they were being tested and asked to solve math questions when the make-up of the questions and words were too complicated to understand.  The one question that one of the students answered correctly happened when I was able to translate the question in Spanish.

I've always wanted to explore my options to get an ELL endorsement, and this experience has definitely urged me to go after that goal.  I wish I was much more proficient in Spanish, too.  I wish I could have given the entire test to these kids in Spanish.  I guess that's something I'll have to make as one of my goals:  relearn Spanish.

Super Second-grader!

My second grade buddy is an amazing reader!  He reads with so much emotion, it's like I'm watching him read for a play.  I even asked him if he thoughts of being an actor.

I decided to conduct a running record with him for our last meeting.  I chose "Hi! Flyguy" and he told me he's read the book series before.  Not surprising, he read through the book with no problems at all.  He understood the story because every once in a while he'd stop reading, look at me, and laugh out loud, or tell me, "that was a funny part!"

He read so fast, though, that his substituted a couple of prepositions that didn't change the meaning of the story, they were just lazy mistakes.  Maybe if this was a more serious test, he would have read more carefully.

He seems to understand most of what he reads, except really difficult and advanced words.  I think I might try an activity that I saw in Fox that uses the meaning of Greek roots, suffixes, and prefixes.

Lesson in Kindergarten Math

What a great lesson!  For my observed lesson, I combined a read-aloud with a math activity.  First, I read the book, Elmer, by David McKee.  It's a cute story about an elephant who looks very different from the rest of his herd.  Instead of regular elephant color (gray), he is patchwork colors.  Elmer does not like that he looks different, so he runs away.  When he comes across some gray-colored berries, he decides to cover its juices all over his body to make him look regular elephant color.  When he returns to the herd, the rest of the elephants didn't recognize Elmer.  When it rained, Elmer's identity was revealed, and the elephants were so happy to see him again and laughed because they all thought Elmer was playing the greatest joke of all time with them.  They decided to name that day the "Elmer's Day Parade" and celebrated by painted their bodies with beautiful patterns and designs.

For the math activity, I decided to review the concept of patterns.  The class had been introduced to patterns recently, so I knew they would be able to understand how to create a pattern.  We looked at the last page of the book and described all the patterns that they could see.  Then, on an elephant coloring page, the kids were instructed to create their own pattern, of their choice, using shapes and colors.  Together, we talked about AB patterns, ABB patterns, AABB, patterns, and so on.  It was pretty evident that they (or at least the majority) remembered how to make a pattern, so I handed out a blank elephant to each student and told them that we were going to have our own "Elmer's Day Parade," and they made such beautiful elephants!

 Of course, there were a few that did not show to me that they knew how to make a pattern.  With those kids, looking back on it now, it would have been a good idea to give them the option of working with blocks or some other types of manipulatives.  Perhaps they just did not care to color?  Perhaps the concept of patterns was not fully learned yet?  I am not sure, but I think it would have been worthwhile to give another option to those students.

Math Anxiety

For the first few sessions in our K-5 math class, I have been relatively comfortable.  I'm learning new ways of thinking, and actually realizing what exactly I'm doing when I do these unusual steps:  carry the one, borrow a ten.  It's been eye-opening.

Ever since last class, though, I have been extremely anxious.  We had middle school math, and though I've always been extremely comfortable with fractions, I did not enjoy what I was feeling at all in class that day.  We also had a new teacher who had a very different way of teaching than our elementary teacher.  I felt so nervous the way she'd randomly call on us to give her answers.  Though this is nothing new to me, I've seen this done in classrooms all the time, I felt nervous experiencing it for myself.  I kept thinking, "this isn't very ELL friendly."  As an adult, I actually felt like not coming to next session!  If I was in high school, I most likely would have skipped if I knew there wasn't a quiz or test planned.  I'd just study hard at home and avoid the uncomfortable spotlighting in class.

In a way, this was an eye opener, too.  For me, personally, learning these new ways of thinking requires me to think longer.  In this new class, I did not feel time was a necessity.  She spoke quickly, explained quickly, and went off on tangents quickly.  It was easy for me to drift off if I could not keep up with her.  That, also, made me nervous.  If I didn't listen to her, she would probably call on me (with my luck), and I wouldn't have an answer.  How unprepared and embarrassed would I feel?  Today's second session with her will be interesting.  I'm very anxious about it.  I hope I will keep up and think fast!

I love writing!

In class today, we finally started to discuss the Vignette assignment.  I say "finally" not because I was in anticipation of and excited about the assignment, but because I have been concerned about doing the assignment since Day 1 (the first day of class when the syllabus was handed out and assignments briefly introduced).  I've desperately been waiting for explanations, examples, a "step by step" instructional sheet to tell me what my professors are looking for, what components of the vignette I need to satisfy, a rubric.  Our cohort has so many assignments and projects to keep track of, and it is vital that I organize everything that I can possibly organize.

Then we began listening to example vignettes from past students.  What a picture they painted using only their words!  When we were asked to take a moment to brainstorm ideas, I was surprised at how fast my pen was moving!  I could see myself smiling inside my body.  I had forgotten how much I loved writing stories!  I used to write stories all the time throughout high school.  In my undergraduate studies, I majored in Comparative Literature, so I became comfortable with writing essays.  It's how we were assessed.  I suppose, along the way, the creative writer in me went away.  I honestly don't remember the last time, before college, I wrote an actual story for someone.  I've written in journals for myself every now and then, but since it's for me I don't use detail, specific descriptions, and imagery.  Other than myself, I never had a worthy audience member to write for.

Because I am adult and have experienced being a student in elementary school, I know that the act of writing is the actual reward.  Kids are so concerned with logistics and get stuck on grades, correct spelling, correct grammar, forcefully supplying details, and other "requirements."  In Bird by Bird, Anne Lamott says "it's like discovering that while you thought you needed the tea ceremony for the caffeine, what you really needed was the tea ceremony."  I haven't started writing my draft for the vignettes yet, but I am really looking forward to starting it later tonight.  All the worry about organizing my projects, thoughts, and time have seemed to take a back seat...for the time being (or at least until tomorrow morning!).  

When I become a teacher, I hope my students will come to know this rewarding feeling of being a writer.